TMTH

      It's been nearly 4 months since our argument over stupid matters and we never talk since then. I'm not going to say that i'm move on and doing alright since we didn't get any closure from this unfortunate event. 

         Honestly I never really get angry towards you after what happen rather trying my best to save our friendship but it seems that you chose to throw off 2 years and a half of our friendship to save your other relationship.. i'm still trying to figure it out and that's truly hit me hard in the heart. 

           It felt like somebody suddenly came to you and slap you in the face real hard! Different is that, I still can feel that pain in my heart until this moment on and i'm trying my best all the time to comforted my heart that it's going to be okay but my heart is still crying for more!

        I don't know why is it affecting me so hard since I thought that we are really close and it's felt that I just lost a brother and a good friend of mine. Sometimes I just want to snap out of it but it's just not working so I fake a smile to everyone to show that I'm okay and move on eventhough i'm not and it's really hard... really

        I remember I cried to sleep on my bed almost every night cause I can't help but to think what goes wrong? what did I do? how to solve..? I could only pray for the good..

        Thank God, I still have friends especially one that is understanding and there with me all the time to comforted me in my hardship . I felt half of my burden was lift up slowly but then again i'm feeling guilty to take that advantage and I might lost her too for my stupidity action.

         I'm writing this not to expect anyone to feel pity on me but I just want to say that I am truly deeply sorry to all my friends if i ever hurt them any possible way . As a fragile human being I do makes many mistake too .
  
        You all bring out the best in me when i'm with you and I will rather sacrifice myself than  to know that I am the reason of your bitter-heart. I love all of you from the bottom of my heart !

         My birthday coming up just a couple days to go and I only wish and hope that all of my friends and my family could forgive my wrong doing towards all of you. That's all I wanted for my birthday. 

P/S: I still remember our first meeting and I thank God for giving this opportunity to get to know all of you

Thank you for reading.